I checked your account
with the tracking number you provided
and confirmed that it is already delivered.

I am more than elated to inform you
that I went ahead already
and release the funds for you.

You may go ahead and check your account now.

But, I mean, who goes
to the Pita Pit to sip
Natty Light drafts?

Might as well just
huff Lemon Pledge
at Pizza Hut.

this promising fish story drowns
at the hands of an author
whose first language
must not be english

II.

As the author of Barracuda
I expected a few low star reviews
since this genre doesn’t suit
everyone’s taste. I embrace
constructive criticism as a helpful tool,
but it is perfectly clear
that this reviewer
did NOT read my book.

The lack of credible examples
of writing improprieties,
and just plain generic negativity
indicates a fraudulent review.
Like the mindless computer geeks
who get their thrills
from creating a destructive virus,
this “no name” reviewer gets off
on a destructive review.

This does not ruin my day,
but makes me feel sorry
for a loner who stoops so low.

The laughs on you, because your review is laughable.

link

David Cross vs. Larry the Cable Guy

Man vs. Ribs

Zombies vs. Chomsky

Grimace vs. Skank McMuffin

Arby’s Roast vs. It’s Not Liquid in a Bag That Is Boiled and Sliced, Now Come On That Is Just Stupid and Gross

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