“A shitty McSweeney’s”

“A shitty Onion”
-The Onion

“Sucka poets better take notice!”
-The Paris Review

“Borderline retarded”

“It’s like they time-napped Hemingway and hit him in the head with a brick until he went cross-eyed. Now where’s my 50 bucks and that bourbon you promised me? I got a hot date with my girl Sharonda down at the titty bar”
-The ghost of William Faulkner

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