limerick

Limerick Day

My name is Barnaby Jones
And I don’t take kindly to clones
I smack ’em, I beat ’em
I cap ’em, I eat ’em
And I pick my teeth with their bones.

* * *

Yesterday, I got a helluva itch
Today I’m a sonuva bitch
I got herpes like hell
I got a poison ivy swell
Oh, goddamn that Blagojevich!

* * *

I shit, I shower, I shave
I make a bitch out of my knave
I’ve got a lance of steel
I’ve got balls that feel
Like I should have gone easy on Dave.

* * *

Well, hickory dickory dock
I am a grandfather clock
I ding when I’m mad
I dong when I’m glad
All you grandmother clocks should take stock.

There once was a guy in my band
With a set of gargantuan hands
He gave everyone mono
And wants to fight Bono
But U2 won’t accede his demands.

Life is like a box of chocolates: you buy it for someone when you don't know what gift to give them. And some of it tastes like shit.