N3F4RIOU5

Prose Before Hoes

by MC Poetry

Sometimes love fizzles out
As the limiting reagent in a chain of letdowns.
It flares up with a lie, a half-hearted kiss
And soon becomes consumed in
Averted gazes
Shouting
Absence
Court proceedings
He said she said
Alleged meth-fueled sex parties
With a male prostitute who looked remarkably like
Rufus Wainwright—
None of that was ever proven.

But other times love burns and aches
And never connects.
I am an exhausted magnet
In a plastic house.
In this case, my objet d’affection,
I can only observe from afar
As you be come go do make say think
Smiling, deciding,
Living the most interesting of lives
While I stagger thumbless on the roadside.

No one ever said it would be easy.
I’m not asking for easy
But I don’t quite understand why
Asking you out feels like
Walking into the lions’ den
With a Bible, soaked in barbecue sauce.

We’ve talked many times
Or several, at least once
When you were happy
And I was happy.
I didn’t fuck it up (not even a little bit!)
But I didn’t know where else to go
So I let it die in an agonizing, hopeful comment
Left on your Facebook wall:
“Nice seeing you this weekend.
Glad we made it out alive.”

Yeah, I know, I should probably smoke some weed
And mellow out, or man up and grow a pair.
Whatever.
It’s just more than a little hard
When you keep showing up
On the arms of other guys
Most of them square as Deuteronomy
And twice as thick.

I hate synchronicity.
It needs to shut up and die.

So it’s prose before hoes, I guess,
But not by choice.
I would gladly trade this pitiful poetic voice
For a shot at anything—from a pristine craw
Down to the most busted of cougar traps.
…No, I take that back.
This is not a productive line of thinking.
I should stop before I wake up drunk
Next to a Star Jones impersonator
Or, worse, a Barnaby Jones fanfic writer
With a bad case of the slashes.
(What the hell comes before prose?)

Tags: people I wish I could date

The Greatest Story Ever Told

by MC Poetry

Meghan McCain graduated
in May, 2007
from Columbia University
with a major in Art History.
She was born and raised
in Phoenix.
Her previous job
experiences
include working at “Saturday Night Live”
and “Newsweek”.
She is a Scorpio.

source

Tags: found poetry, people I wish I could date